none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
