highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
