made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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