Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
