Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
