i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
