The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
