I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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