My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize