i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
