Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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