Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
