I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
