I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
there's paper in my vomit.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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