Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
