gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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