When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
