I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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