my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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