and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
