I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
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I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
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Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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