you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
