im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My life is pants optional.
I'm always down for nudity.
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