I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
