If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
