Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm like, not good at living.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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