Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
