He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we're chasing vodka with high fives
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
