so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
