Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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