your thong is hanging out like whoa
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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