am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
