i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
