There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize