The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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