Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
being pregnant is like rehab
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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