So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
