I don't usually arrange sex via text message
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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