I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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