if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
