were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
