I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
