um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
