Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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