I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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