The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
