I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
