we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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