no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Let's get the cat blown out
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
