is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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