I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
