Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
