you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
