so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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