Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
