I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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