I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
