I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
