who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
