bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
