as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
