we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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