When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
