I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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