I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.