LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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