dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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