clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
