we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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